Thursday, May 15, 2008

Long way off

I don't know if it's age. I don't remember ever feeling this tired with two small kids. I was in my twenties, so maybe that's the trick, quit while you're ahead. Who knew one tiny little person could wear you out so much. I am too tired to even think about eating.

The sink is full of dishes, from kids coming and going with friends all afternoon. The kitchen sink is plugged, and there are clothes in both the washer and dryer. Just thinking about it makes me want to curl up, cover my head and never come out. Maybe when I find the courage to rear my head, it will all be done.

I stood outside today watching my little girl run from one thing to the next, barely able to move. It amazes me how two tiny little legs can travel so far in one afternoon. God, my arms feel too heavy to lift, as does my whole body. I'm thinking it is definitely CMS...what else could it be?

I have been in and out of the car five times today, doing up and undoing a car seat, hauling a small child on one hip. Slinging bags, snacks, blankies, a dropped toy or shoe. I never seem to come back home with less than I left with. How is that, where does all of the shit come from????

I gather up older kids, friends in tow. Take them here and there. I run out to pick up the forgotten milk, just to race home again and remember a forgotten appointment, I have a whole six minutes to get to it.

Sometimes it just feels like it's too much for one person. What's too much? Oh yeah, I still have to feed the cats, let the dog out, feed the lizards, and the fish too. And I guess if it isn't too much, I should probably think about feeding myself. Rest is a long way off.

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