Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Advice anyone?

Last night I sat down reread some of the older posts we've contributed and thought I wanted/needed to write something that would be interesting and valuable somehow. I sat and sat, waiting , but nothing earth-shattering came to me. So instead I decided to look at what other people/moms are talking about.

Immediately it occurred to me, by what I was reading, was that a lot of what was out there was basically self-help or better yet parenting-help advice. With titles like, "How To Be The Parent of Your Dreams", "Why Good Parents Have Bad Kids", and the likes. God, it's enough to make the most confident parent question what they are doing. I didn't come across anything that talked about the immense fear some of have about not being capable enough....although, by whose standards is this measured?

It is as though there is this long list of boxes to be ticked off when raising a child. The foods you introduce, when to introduce them to your child's diet, reactions he or she might have. When and how to get them to recite the alphabet. I have fallen so short here. And I have never been the mom who kept a food journal, writing down each and every item I tried to squeeze past my baby's stubborn little lips. Yet I remember other parents talking about what stage they were at in their child's food development (I really had to keep from saying, "you're freaking kidding me right?") But no, they weren't .

I don't mean to belittle or judge anyone who does any of these things, honestly, kudos to you for taking things so seriously. It just seemed impossible for me to do these things myself.

Now that I a mom for the third time, I chalk it up to having already been through it or just being too tired and often too overwhelmed, to make an effort to write down everything my child eats or does. Whatever it is, I still get pangs of guilt when I sit in a waiting room and magazine covers stare back at me with statements of how to do any number of things, things I know I probably don't do, will never do, by the book.

I don't think I will ever have enough experience to give anyone advice, the only thing I can offer is to do what you think is best, close your eyes, cross your fingers and hang on for dear life. It's a bumpy ride.

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