Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Where the hell is IT?

And no I am not talking about my groove thing...frankly I'm too damn tired from looking for my family's shit to even thing about any kind of a groove thing!! Not only am I constantly looking for other people's crap, I am losing almost anything I put down and walk away from. I am starting to think there is an evil conspiracy in my house...someone trying to make me look crazy enough to have me committed? Maybe. Wouldn't blame them of course.

Anything from, books, shoes, underwear, coats...the list is truly endless. Sometimes my loving family even has the audacity to call me when I've had the opportunity to escape briefly, to ask me if I've seen their shit!! And if I have, could I please, please, please let them know where it is and then remember that too. I am sort of pointing fingers here, mostly at my husband. Apparently the man can remember just about anything, except for where he puts stuff. Meaningless stuff mostly, but somehow he thinks I have this Rain man sort of thing going on when it comes to remembering asinine things, like where people put their gloves. Well at least I'm good for something, I guess.

On the other hand I can't remember where I've put anything myself, at any given moment. Be it, my now, ice cold cup of coffee, or my keys, which I only use about three thousand times a day. I misplace them...every sickening time I walk away. I am almost always completely unable to remember why I've entered a room, or why I've gone upstairs or downstairs. I am beginning to get a little worried, so you must understand my thoughts on a conspiracy here, right?

I think on average I spend at least 60% of my day looking for stuff, and I mean really earnestly looking. No wonder I can barely get anything else done around here. Well losing shit, trying to find it, and blogging are probably equal contributors to my issue. It's just that one is so much more enjoyable than the others.

Some days I just picture myself sitting cross legged in the middle of the living room. Waiting for someone, anyone, to help me find the stuff I am in search of, maybe at the same time they could help me find my sanity?


The Dani Lama said...

Oh yes. The lost belonging dilemma.

The Dani Lama suggest Clutter Meditation in which you sit quietly in the middle of a room and ponder the impermanence of things. This is a difficult form of mediation, particularly when the other individuals in your area (let's call them family) attempt to interrupt. That is why it's imperative that your mantra, which you chant through out sound like this, "Ommmmmm, fuck off you miserable bastards, ommmmm, fuck off you miserable bastards, ommmmmm, fuck off you miserable bastard...."

When you're calm, you then quietly end you meditation by throwing everything off the balcony.

This is a deeply cleansing mediation.

Best of luck my child.

MotherhoodByters said...

Ah finally, the wisdom I have been searching for. Thank God I am not adverse to cussing like a filthy trucker either!!

I will start my meditation this evening, hopefully before the first lost item request of the night is in.