Thursday, June 19, 2008


Today I just want to give up. I want to slink home to my bedroom, turn off the lights and close the drapes and crawl under the covers. Maybe I will never come out again. I can't do this. I can't be a great mom and a brilliant employee and a loving, sexy partner all at once. I can't seem to get even one of them right, because when I try the other plates all drop. I am like the lame, creepy juggler at the carnival that everyone is embarrassed to watch because they know he is going to drop everything. I am tired and heart-wrenchingly sad and so desperate to just quit.


Anonymous said...

We have all been there, and more than once.. Tomorrow is another day and maybe something in it will make you smile and regain the energy to carry on,,,,, Hang in there,,,there is beauty in everything you do even if you don't see it.

The Long Road said...

We can't be it all. No one can be everything to everyone, let alone themselves. It's hard feeling like you can't get everything just so, and it's even harder to feel like you're somehow always disappointing someone.

We can only do our best, keep up with what we can, and that can only mean we won't ever be able to juggle it all, we're human.

I know when we're feeling like this no words will solve, fill or change the way we feel. Just know you're not alone.

The Dani Lama said...

Sister. I've been there. And when I was, a very good friend (this bright and lovely girl I used to work with) told me, "Sometimes you can't do anything other than just simply make it through day."

So I say the same to you--quit trying to be such an overachiever! Go to work and do the minimum you have to do. Feed your kids (if they're tired of McDonald's, I recommend Wendy's), and if you have enough energy, read them a bed time story. Tell your partner you love him and you want to show you deep attachment to him by allowing him to take care of all the kids while you take a trip to visit a friend in another city. She's probably worried about you. In fact, I know her, and I'm pretty sure she's worried!

Just recognize that this whole crazy ride we're on is a pendulum. It's goin' swing up. It's goin' swing down. Try, if possible, to just hang on for the ride.

And here's the tip of the day: Never, ever, ever go camping! With or without your kids!! It's fucking exhausting. Think spa, with girlfriends!!!