Thursday, June 19, 2008

Belly Fat

I know, we're all sick of hearing about each other's fat bums, saggy boobs, and all that shit, but let me back up here and explain. First of all let me scream, I am sick to death of having belly fat. I may have always had chunky thighs and ham arms, but I could always pride myself on having a nice flat tummy, yes, even after having a couple of kids.

Well my pride is now awash. After having a third child, and doing this after 35, I find my body is in revolt (and revolting for that matter). I don't know what the hell is going on, and it seems it is not only me...there are others out there suffering this same peculiar affliction. I've spoken to them, I've met them, I've even had the opportunity to see their belly dough from time to time. I might not watch everything I put into my face, but I work pretty hard physically, and it should count for something I would think. But no. No matter how hard I work, how much I sweat, this stuff stays put.

Now, why suddenly do you ask, am I shocked by this? Well it has kind of crept up on me, found a nice waist to cling to and has made itself at home. And I hate it, I want it gone. Short of having it sucked out, I am baffled at what to do. And yes I've heard you can dramatically alter what you carry around your middle by eating clean. Well let me tell you my friends, I am a dirty girl from way back, and there is no way I am cleaning up everything I eat, or drink. I've got to have a little joy in my life, and sometimes that just means a good bottle of wine and a pizza . So I guess it might just be here to stay.

Not only does this belly fat alter how you look, it can really change the way you feel. Now more than ever I feel a bit dumpy, a bit bumpy and frankly a little old momish. Well, I am aware that I am and old mom, but fuck, do I have to see it in every mirror or window I pass by?

Today I felt this more than ever. I took my daughter to have to top of her ear pierced and we had to go to a piercing, tattoo place to have it done. Well, we walk in and I kind of get a look from the young girl behind the counter, that says, "yeah, what do you want?". Then it hit me, I look like a middle aged mom, who's lost and wandering in for directions. I wanted to roll up my pant leg and say, "look I do belong here, I've had my fair share of visits to a tattoo parlor, probably had my first one when you were still in pre-fucking-school!!". But I couldn't of course, since I was standing there with my child. So, I explained why we were there, and we got on with our business.

This exchange just makes me realize how much I have changed, how much my body has changed, and in the end how it's made people see me. I don't wish to be twenty again, with a rock hard body (okay I am lying here, I do, I do), but I do wish I could feel that kind of confidence that came with strutting around when I was that age. Now I have to be conscious of sucking in my belly fat, being called ma'am and looking like a mom nearing forty. It sucks man.

I used to think I was pretty cool. Like I rode the back of the bus, flew by the seat of my pants. Now, not so much I guess. Instead, I sit closer to the front of the bus just in case I miss my stop and the seat of my pants, well, they're much larger than they used to be, and I've realized I'm a little afraid of flying. What can you do??

1 comment:

edies' world said...

Well you know how I feel about the middle age spread. I am frustrated and agitated by it..Some days I am ok with it but most days revolted. Its a constant reminder of the aging woman...I hate it ... e