Thursday, July 10, 2008

Me, lonely?

It's been all of five days and I thought, well convinced myself anyway, when I dropped him off at camp, that I wouldn't miss him all that much.  I've been away from the kids a number of times (product of divorce), and to tell the truth, it's not ever been as bad as some have made it out to be.  Honestly, most times, it's been great, I've always needed the break and they've also needed a break from me.  Of course the house always seems so much quieter, and cleaner for that matter, but there is always this little part of me that wonders how their days are when they are away from me.  

This time it's been different.  I've been achingly lonely for him.  I imagine his big toothy smile, his freckled happy face, and I get choked up.  I miss the kid like crazy.  I worry whether I've packed enough warm clothes, sunscreen, bug spray, underwear.  I told myself  not to act like a blithering idiot when I left him there, standing alone looking so proud to be going to camp for a whole two weeks.  I didn't.  I asked him if he was alright, made sure we had a look at his accommodation, gave him a hug a kiss, another hug and kiss and left him. 

I know he's alright, but it's really weird sending your child off when it's not to his other parent.  Especially for this length of time.  I know he'll come back, feeling more grown up, looking taller, browner (well, pinker in his case), and happy, happy that he had the chance to have this experience.

I hope he remembers to brush his teeth, floss, for his braces sake, and have a shower often, so he doesn't horrify the other campers with his stench.  I hope he isn't afraid to use the outhouse at night, and he hasn't been eaten alive by mosquitoes, and that he uses his sunscreen regularly ( the poor guy needs it).

I, on the other hand want to spend the remainder of his trip imagining that he is having the time of his life, and push away the terrifying thoughts that he might be mauled by a cougar or a bear, or worse, that he gets lost alone in the forest without repellent, sunscreen or clean underwear.  I know I sound like a complete nut.  I just needed to vent in order to get through the next seven nights.


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